Have you heard someone say that ‘everybody cheats’ at one point or another?
If you’ve never even considered cheating, hearing someone say this can be quite alarming – especially if it’s coming from your partner.
So, how common is cheating really – and is it true that everybody cheats at some point? How should you react if your partner says this to you?
In this article, we’ll cover everything that you need to know!
No, Most People Do Not Cheat
Here’s the fortunate truth – most people are completely faithful, and will remain faithful throughout their lives. The majority of both men and women never cheat on their partners, even if the opportunity presents itself.
And the reality is, opportunities to cheat will present themselves to the both of you throughout your marriage. Thankfully, most people do not have a problem turning these opportunities down as they arise.
According to a research study conducted in 2020, 23% of men surveyed admitted that they have cheated, and 12% of women admitted they’ve cheated.
When polling married couples specifically, 12% of married people admitted that they have cheated as well.
Of course, it is always possible that the numbers are underreported, as people rarely like to admit to something bad or shameful that they’ve done.
Note that not everybody defines cheating in the same way. While Amara and I personally define it in terms of physical acts (kissing and beyond), some people may also consider watching adult media online, or light flirting to be a form of cheating as well, even if it never goes anywhere.
It may be a good idea to discuss with your partner exactly what you consider to be cheating, so you both are on the same page. This will help to ensure that nobody’s feelings are hurt, and nobody engages in any activity that the other partner is not okay or comfortable with.
Why Would Your Partner State That ‘Everybody Cheats’ At Some Point?
So, now that we know that most people in fact do not ever cheat, why would your partner say this? Should you be concerned?
In situations like these, context is key.
If you two were simply discussing the idea of cheating – or somebody else’s relationship, it may have just been a harmless comment.
However, it may also signal that your partner…
- Thinks that cheating is inevitable at some point in your relationship.
- They already have cheated on you, and they are trying to downplay the significance of the event.
- They believe that cheating may be permissible in certain situations (i.e it only happens once, or it doesn’t go ‘all the way.’)
- They’ve cheated in the past, and feel shame for it. This does not necessarily mean they will cheat in the future.
Of course, we’re talking about humans here, so anything is possible. It’s also completely possible that none of these apply to your situation.
It may be helpful to remind your partner that it’s simply not true that everybody cheats. Additionally, confidently state that you have never cheated, and never will cheat even if the opportunity presented itself. Remind your partner why monogamy is so important to you, and the consequences that cheating could entail.
Although 60-75% of couples will stay together after infidelity, being cheated on can be a heartbreaking, emotional experience. It’s important that both partners fully understand the full consequences of what may happen if they cheat, and why it’s so important that they remain faithful.
So, What Actually Causes People To Cheat? (Brief List)
It’s important to understand that there are certain patterns or reasons people may be more prone to cheating, even if they have never cheated before in their lives.
Some reasons people may opt to cheat, include:
- A lack of excitement or ‘spark’ in the relationship (particularly if the relationship is new.
- Insecurity – they feel poorly about themselves, and are seeking external validation from someone else.
- Revenge – they are seeking to ‘get back at you’ for something that you’ve done. For example, if they suspect you of cheating, they may also cheat as a form of revenge.
- Different intimate needs – some people crave intimacy more than others, and may feel like their needs are not being met with their current partner.
- Impulsive personalities – some people have harder times turning down exciting or ‘taboo’ opportunities that may pop up.
- Boredom – they may have grown bored with the relationship, and craved variety.
- Unclear expectations – They may not be aware that what they’ve done is forbidden in your relationship. While people generally understand that going ‘all the way’ isn’t typically allowed, they may feel they’re allowed to engage in other acts you consider cheating.
Note that none of these are valid reasons to ever cheat on a partner.
However, people who have otherwise been faithful throughout your relationship may be more likely to cheat when the opportunity arises, if they are experiencing one of the above issues.
Again, clear communication goes a long way towards preventing cheating, and most people remain faithful despite whatever they’re going through.
If you are in a monogamous relationship, than any form of cheating – at any point during your relationship or marriage, is completely unacceptable.
Although most people will have opportunities to cheat at some point, most people will do the right thing, and stay faithful to their partners. The vast majority of people do not ever cheat, and if your partner believes that doing so is normal, it may point to causes for concern.
However, these comments may also be made in jest, so you shouldn’t instantly become suspicious just because the statement is made.
I hope that you’ve found this article helpful. If you have any other questions, ask them below and we’ll be happy to help!
Wishing you and your relationship the best,
– James and Amara