Q&A: Guy Wants To Stay Home And Cuddle For A First Date. Thoughts?
Are you seeing a guy, who has said he wanted to stay home and cuddle as a first date?
We recently read about this experience happening to someone else, and wanted to give our input. While some may see this as a cute way to spend time together, others believe this is way too quickly for something like this to go on.
So, in this article, we’ll be sharing our opinion on it – both cuddling after a first date has completed, and jumping straight to it as the first date activity.
Is Cuddling Bad As A First Date?
Put quite simply, most people would feel uncomfortable if a guy suggested cuddling as something to do on the first date.
And, we would have to agree with them.
There’s a number of reasons why this is a strange idea at best, and downright dangerous at worst.
The first comes down to his expectations. There’s no two ways to go about this – if a guy is suggesting cuddling, that’s probably not where he plans the evening to go.
Cuddling is just a way to get all touchy-feely with you, hopefully get you excited, and then lower your barriers so he can push for more. It may start out with harmless cuddling, before moving to groping, and then pressure to take it further.
You get the idea.
Additionally, it’s simply not safe – especially if you don’t really know this person all that well yet.
Ideally, dates should be held in a public setting, with other people around. If you don’t know the person yet, drive yourself to the date location, as there isn’t yet any reason that they need to know where you live. Additionally, bringing your own transportation means you can leave at any point, without being reliant on anyone else to take you home.
Think about it this way – if a stranger pulled you off the street and asked you to come inside their house to cuddle, would you do it?
Unless you already have history with this person or you’ve spent a lot of time together in other settings, this is essentially the same thing.
What About After A Successful, Normal First Date?
Next, let’s talk about cases where you already had a great first date in a normal location, but he wants you to come in and cuddle after.
While this may be slightly better, it’s still worrisome. The same principles as before apply – he could be ultimately trying to get you in bed, and it still could be a dangerous situation to be in after a first date.
After all, anyone can act a certain way to get what they want, even if it means putting on a fake persona for a few hours.
That being said, you’ve really got to feel out the situation.
If you feel completely comfortable with someone – and you are aware that he may try to take you to bed, than that is ultimately your decision to make.
Just remember that you shouldn’t feel pressured to say yes, even to cuddling. And you shouldn’t feel like you’re rejecting him by saying no either – this is a major step forward very quickly, especially when it comes to intimacy and physical boundaries.
Good men will respect and understand that, and will be happy to wait for a more appropriate time to start cuddling.
Trust Your Gut, And Stay Safe!
Ultimately, deciding whether you want to cuddle with him is up to you. Just remember, if you don’t absolutely want to, then you shouldn’t feel guilty at all for saying no.
If you do decide to go to someone’s house – or invite him to yours, it’s important that you keep your safety in mind.
Ensure that somebody knows exactly where you are when you go, along with the general time they should expect to hear from you again.
As mentioned earlier, bring your own transportation so you are free to leave at any point, without having to wait for a ride or worse – be driven home by him.
Finally, ensure that any drinks you have are not left unattended, even for a few moments (such as a quick trip to the bathroom.) Just because you’re at someone’s home and not at a bar, does not make any safer!
Most people would consider it unusual if a guy wants to cuddle on the first date.
While there may not be anything wrong with it if you already know this person very well, something as intimate as cuddling usually requires more time to be comfortable for both people.
Of course, we’d love to hear your opinions! Share them below, as we could all benefit from hearing what you have to say!
Additionally, if you have any follow-up questions, feel free to ask them below as well.
– James and Amara McAllister